Overreacting or, Guys, Seriously Fuck You

Let's look at the anatomy of a bald-faced lie. First off, Jesse Jackson made an inconsequential comment about Barack Obama, saying he "wanted to cut his nuts off" with a smirk on his face and a crude gesture. Why is this inconsequential? Because it was obvious that 1) HE WAS FUCKING JOKING and 2) HOLY SHIT IT WAS A JOKE and 3) OH MY GOD ARE YOU THAT STUPID IT WAS A JOKE and 4) he said it when he thought he was not being filmed, which I'm positive unlocks all sorts of Pandora's Boxes (which sounds like a kick-awesome moving company) for all media personalities. One of those people is Bill O'Reilly, who I would bet has called Hillary Clinton a cunt in private. Seriously, I'd bet like $5,000 on that.

Anyway, here's Mr. O'Reilly



It is pretty telling that he spends the first half of the segment attempting to explain that he's not going to use conjecture about why Jackson might have said that, only to go on and do nothing but assume he knows why Jackson said it. If you don't know the circumstances, you probably shouldn't run with it. If you do know the circumstances, and the circumstances were "assumed privacy", again, probably shouldn't go with it. Oh my, the discourse of our fair nation.

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My Governor, the Lezbo

There is a chance that, even if you don't live in Minnesota, you know who Tim Pawlenty is. You might not know him as the Governor of this state; you may know him as that skeezy slightly-too-slick man on the television that speaks with an easy, flat tone. You may know him as ex-top cheerleader for the 2004 Bush Campaign, where his pom-pons waved so hard it has been said that the wind they generated was able to power all of Minnesota's wind energy supply from September-November 2004 (this is Minnesota, after all, where weird shit like a large man creating all our lakes and the amazing collapso-bridge happen). Or you may know him simply as a prime yet unsung candidate for Men who Look Like old Lesbians.

Yeah, that's right. The last two governors we've had have either resembled lesbians or been pro wrestlers. We're on the verge of possibly electing a professional comedian as Senator (something I am terribly in favor of). This is all old news. What isn't old news is the possibility of Tim Pawlenty being named the Veep candidate on the McCain ticket. He might have cut his trademark mullet, but there is a chance that this will suddenly become the face of Minnesota on a national level:



Fuck close enough.

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